The Needed Angel
by 10thWeasley
Summary: Harry needs an angel, Sirius is gone. Can anyone help him heal? A RemusHarry bonding fic.
1. Finding an Angel

**A-N **

**So I'm back with a new story. This is a Remus is a father figure for Harry story. I have a general outline and plenty of time to write, so I'm posting the first chapter and will see how it's received! I do not have a beta, but would love one if anyone would like to do it! So please leave me feedback. It's almost a song fic, in bold is the lyrics to Angel by Sarah McLachlan I feel it fits with the story. It will not be there the whole story though if it becomes a long one! So please, comments, suggestions, flames (but hopefully not!) Enjoy!**

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"_Come on! You can do better then that!" _ Harry was lying on the bed in the smallest bedroom at number 4 Privet Drive, reliving the night when his world had crashed around him. His godfather was gone; he had died all because Harry thought he was in danger, because of a vision Lord Voldemort had placed in his head. He had run to the ministry to try to save Sirius, placing himself and his friends in danger, and for what? Nothing. Sirius was the only family Harry had and now? Now he was gone, and it was all his fault.

_**Spend all your time waiting for that second chance**_

_**For the break that will make it OK**_

Harry couldn't help but think that at any moment Hedwig would come through the window with a letter from Sirius saying that he was working on getting Harry back to Grimmauld Place for the summer. But he knew it wouldn't happen… it was just wishful thinking.

_**There's always some reason to feel not good enough**_

_**And it's hard at the end of the day**_

Ever since _that night _Harry hadn't slept well. He kept having nightmares, the same one every night. He was back in the Department of Mysteries begging at the veil for Sirius to come back. Then Sirius would step out, but not the Sirius that Harry knew, but a Sirius that was mean and cruel. Sirius would start yelling at Harry for getting him killed, and then suddenly the scene would change and Harry would be back in the graveyard where Voldemort regained his body and he would see Cedric Diggory who would tell him how he never got a chance at life because of Harry. Then the dream would take a drastic turn for the worse; his mother and father would appear. They would talk about how much they had loved their life before they'd gone into hiding for Harry, how they should have just let Voldemort have him.

After every dream Harry would spend hours just staring at the ceiling thinking about his chronic nightmare and how true everyone in his nightmares was.

_**I need some distraction or a beautiful release**_

_**Memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty and **_

_**Weight less, and maybe**_ _**I'll find some peace tonight**_

It was nearing on midnight and Harry was trying to keep from falling asleep, he knew if he fell asleep that the nightmares would come back and it was bad enough that the image of his godfather falling haunted him during the day

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Suddenly he heard a pop come from outside his windows. Recognizing the sound of a wizard apparating Harry went to his windows to see a lone figure walking towards number 4 Privet Drive. As the figure approached he recognized that the person was Remus Lupin, his former DADA professor and his last remaining connection to his parents and Sirius.

_Sirius_. It was amazing how just thinking about Sirius could make him just breakdown. Harry mentally berated himself, _it's your fault he died, don't feel sorry for yourself. _

"Harry?" Harry turned around to see the skinny form of a worried Remus Lupin standing in his doorway._ How'd he get up here so fast? _Harry mused. "Hello Professor" Harry croaked, realizing these were the first words he'd spoken since he had returned from school.

Remus gave him a warm smile, "Harry, I'm not your teacher anymore, call me Remus" Harry gave him a half-hearted smile and sat down on his bed. "So Remus, What are you doing here? Everyone's ok right?" Remus's smile faltered, "As far as I know everyone's alright and seeing how I just left Headquarters I assume everything is fine. I came to see you and judging by how you look it seems like it was a good idea I came, Merlin Harry are you all right? You look like you haven't slept, eaten or even bathed for that matter." Harry looked down at the floor, it was true he hadn't left his room to eat or do anything, all he had done since he got home from school was lay on his bed staring at the ceiling.

"Harry? I know this has got to be hard on you, Merlin knows it's hard on everyone. Sirius was a brother to me, he was a father to you, he meant the world to both of us and I know he wouldn't have wanted you to lie around and feel guilty about his death Harry. He died fighting, fighting for someone he loved and a cause he believed in, he wouldn't have wanted to go any other way."

Seeing Harry hadn't even looked up from the floor,Remus came

and sat beside Harry on the bed, "Harry, I know I'm no Sirius and can never in a million years fill his shoes, but I want you to know I'm here for you. Ever since you were born I've considered you my cub. The ministry has regulations that state I can't have children, but when you were born, I felt that that regulation didn't apply to me, since I had you in my life. I tried so hard, so so hard to get custody of you when Lily and James died, but Dumbledore was convinced you would be better off here with your Aunt and Uncle.

You obviously need some help Harry, it's not good to hold everything in; Just tell me. I've lost so many people in this war Harry; I know how hard it is to lose someone. It's hard, but we must go on. I want you to be able to tell me how you're feeling, I can listen and understand."

_Can I really tell him? _Harry wondered, _What if he thinks I'm a whiny little kid? Then I'll really lose any connection to my parents. _ Harry looked up at Remus; his amber eyes had so many emotions swirling in them. Harry could see that Remus truly cared for him and that no matter what he would stay by his side. Harry bowed his head down and returned to looking at the floor

"I just don't understand." Harry admitted. "Sirius was the only father figure I've ever had, I've already lost my parents, why Sirius?!" He could feel the tears falling down his face already. "I just.. I don't understand Remus!" The tears were falling quickly now and Harry looked up at Remus to see tears falling down his face too. "Why? He was all I had!" Harry sobbed.

"Oh Harry, it's ok cub." Remus opened his arms and Harry jumped into his arms and for the first time Harry could remember, he allowed someone to just hold him and give him the loving comfort he had always wanted. "It's a mystery why whatever force decides who lives and dies chooses who it chooses. But know that Sirius loved you and thought of you as his son and the greatest thing in the world." Harry began to sob huge sobs that wracked his skinny frame; He let out all the emotions he had been feeling since Sirius's death, everything he had been holding in. Remus just sat there with Harry in his arms rubbing his back and crying his own tears of sadness.

_**You're in the arms of the Angel; fly away from here**_

_**From this dark, cold hotel room, and the endlessness that you fear**_

_**You are pulled from the wreckage of your silent reverie**_

_**You're in the arms of the Angel; may you find some comfort here**_

After awhile Harry's sobs subsided and he pulled out of the embrace. Remus looked down at Harry's tear stained face, "I miss him Remus" "I know cub, I do too." They stayed silent for a while until Harry broke the silence "Remus? Will you stay with me tonight? I think.. I think I need someone here." Remus smiled, "Of course I'll stay Harry." Harry smiled his first true smile in weeks and then fell into a deep sleep in the arms of Remus, his moony.

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**Please review and tell me how horrible or good it is!**


	2. Getting out redone and added onto!

***disclaimer* I in nooo way own Harry Potter it all belongs to the amazing Mrs.J.**

**Ok so I've gotten myself an awesome beta,Lizzy Lovegood! She has some awesome stories and has agreed to help me with this story! So with her help chapter two was rewritten and I added on more so it wasn't so short. **

**Hope you enjoy and remember to review, just hit that little blue button!  
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Slowly, Harry blinked, eyes glancing over the room. Same desk . . . same chair . . . same broken TV . . .. Yep, he was still definitely at Privet Drive. But if that was the case, why did he feel so well rested? He certainly hadn't felt this good since . . . well, since before Sirius had . . ..

No, don't think about that. Too painful, much too painful. Harry attempted to bury his head further into the pillow, but heard an indignant oomph instead. Surprised, Harry looked up into the kind amber eyes of Remus Lupin.

"Have a good sleep cub?" Remus asked, his arms tightening around Harry.

Harry blushed crimson. It wasn't like he was a baby. He had been taking care of himself since he was three years old, he didn't need some adult to stay with him all night long.

"You didn't have to hold me all night," Harry said, giving voice to his thoughts, "you could have woken me and put me to bed if you wanted."

"Now, why would I have done that?" Remus asked, eyes crinkling fondly as he smiled at Harry. "You looked comfortable and besides, I haven't been able to do that since you were a baby. I've missed it."

Unable to think of any satisfactory response, Harry merely nestled deeper into the man's chest and sat there, curled up, enjoying the comfort Remus gave. It could've been several minutes or even several hours – Harry really didn't care too much – before Remus spoke again.

"Harry? I'm really sorry, cub, but I need to get back to headquarters." Almost instantly, Harry felt his safety net fall away; he looked up at Remus, his bright green eyes full of betrayal.

"Wait, you . . . you're leaving me? I . . . I thought you were staying." Harry cut himself off. _Don't be stupid, Harry. Do you really think Remus would want to stay with the murderer of his best friend? You're lucky he even stayed the night. You don't even deserve this._ "I'm sorry Remus, that was just – that was selfish of me. It's alright, go back to the Order."

Remus's eyes widened in contrition. "Oh, Harry, I'm sorry! You must have misunderstood me. I just want to go to headquarters to talk to Dumbledore about getting you out of here."

"Where will I go, then? The Weasleys?" Harry asked doubtfully. For some reason, he wasn't up to facing the Weasleys right now. They'd be full of apologies, surely – asking how he was doing, if he wanted to talk. But they had their own family and, no matter what, he wouldn't be part of it. Sirius – and now just Remus – was the closest thing Harry had.

Remus spoke hesitantly. "Well, if you'd like to, you could stay with me . . .."

The green eyes that had – only moments ago – been filled with betrayal, suddenly filled with hope.

"You mean I could get out of here?" Harry hardly dared to believe it.

"Yes Harry, I'm going to get you out of here."

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What am I doing? Why did I leave him there? Remus berated himself as he headed for the square that housed the Order of the Phoenix's headquarters. He didn't think he'd ever seen anyone look so lost. His instincts told him Harry needed to get out of that house; he needed someone there to help him grieve.

As he Disapparated, Remus J. Lupin promised himself that he would be that person.

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"It looks like he hasn't left the house since he got back, Albus, and I doubt he's been sleeping much, either. He's starved, Albus – mentally and physically!"

It had been twenty minutes since Remus had left Privet Drive, fifteen of which the headmaster of Hogwarts, Albus Dumbledore, had spent listening to his report on young Harry Potter. Clasping his hands together, Dumbledore peered at Remus over his half-moon spectacles.

"Remus, dear boy, I understand your point, but Harry is safe at Privet Drive. We cannot jeopardize that . . .."

In response, the werewolf let out a fierce growl and Dumbledore couldn't help but start slightly. Taking a deep breath, Remus continued in terse tones. "I know he needs the blood protection, sir, but surely it's been long enough. All he does is sit around thinking about Sirius all day. He blames himself for what happened! It's obvious he needs help."

He suddenly became quiet, feeling hot tears gather behind his lids. "I . . . I can just see him becoming me."

"And what do you mean by that, Remus?"

Blinking back the tears, Remus glared at the old wizard. "You know exactly what I mean, Dumbledore. You were the one who got me back on my feet." Remus couldn't help but shudder. It even hurt to think about it sometimes . . ..

Remus had lost his pack all in one day. Sirius had been brought to Azkaban; Lily, James, and Peter had been killed; even little Harry was off to live with the Dursley's and he, as a werewolf, had no chance whatsoever of gaining guardianship. His life was in tatters and all he could do was drink firewhiskey – after a dozen bottles or so, it didn't really burn your mouth so much – pity his friendless life, and mourn for his lost pack. Lily, James, Sirius, Peter, Harry . . .. And Dumbledore, as the old man very well knew, was the only one able to convince him to come out into the world again, to teach at Hogwarts and see Harry again.

"What do you suggest we do then, Remus? If he is like you say then I wholeheartedly agree that he needs to leave the Dursley's. What do you think of Arthur and Molly? I'm sure they would love to have him." Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as if he already knew Remus's answer.

"No," Remus said immediately. "No, they . . . they have their hands full already, Albus. Harry needs someone who understands what he's going through. Please let him come stay with me. My house is in the middle of France, no one knows where it is and it's totally warded. We could even add some more if you thought it was necessary . . .." Remus was pleading now. Then, in a lower voice, he continued, "Albus – he needs me . . . and I need him."

Dumbledore smiled. He had heard Remus's murmured declaration and he knew they were true. Harry Potter and Remus Lupin needed each other more than anything.

"He just seems so lifeless, he's not eating and he's not sleeping. Frankly, I don't think he even showers. Albus, he needs me. I want to help him."

"Well, Remus," Dumbledore said with a smile, "if you think he truly does need help, then you may make the proper arrangements to take him with you. For full moon, may I suggest he stay here, though?"

"Of course, Albus," Remus said, unable to stop the smile from spreading over his face. He was going to get Harry!

**REVIEW!! Make a girl happy :)**


	3. Heading Home

**Thank you to all my reviewers, they mean so much to me! This might be the last update for a couple weeks, I leave for an 11-day vacation on Monday and I don't know when I'll have time to write! My Beta ****Lizzy Lovegood is also heading out of town tomorrow, so forgive me for a lack of update in the next 2 weeks or so!**

**Remember to Review, they really do help encourage me!**

**And has anyone seen Half Blood prince yet?! What did you think; personally I thought it was the best yet! Don't spoil others in a review if you want to talk about it ,PM me!**

Apparating back to Privet Drive, Remus headed straight toward Number Four, a new and purposeful stride in his step as he walked down the neat and tidy street. He could barely comprehend it – Harry was going to _live with him_! - and, for the first time in what felt like forever, there was a grin on his face that refused to fade.

But then he thought of Sirius. Ever since Sirius had escaped from Azkaban, it had been his dream to become acquitted and give Harry the life he should have had with James and Lily. To let him have a father. Would Sirius think Remus was trying to usurp his position now that he was dead and gone? Or would he be happy Remus was helping Harry when he most needed it? And, although Sirius had been one of his best friends . . . hell, one of his _brothers_, when it came to Harry, he didn't know. But he hoped fervently that it was the latter.

Remus had barely rang the doorbell before he realized that the Dursleys most likely didn't know of the current situation. And, as nasty as they were, the man supposed they ought to know where their nephew would be spending the rest of the holidays.

Just then, the door was pulled open to reveal a chubby blond boy who looked about Harry's age, staring suspiciously at him through the screen. Remus vaguely recognized him from photographs as Harry's cousin Dudley.

"Hello, Dudley," he said as kindly as he could manage. "Is your mother home? I need to speak to her. I'm . . . an old friend," he added, as the boy's expression darkened. Well, it wasn't _really _a lie. He had met Petunia . . . once, at James and Lily's wedding. Her and her husband – Victor or whoever – and they had seemed a very disagreeable lot. He hoped – for Harry's sake – that parenthood had improved their temperaments. Raising his eyebrows only slightly, Dudley nodded – setting his many chins wobbling – before waddling off into the kitchen.

"Petunia, how lovely to see you again!" Remus greeted, smiling as the bony woman entered the hall."Who are you?" she demanded, casting a suspicious look over his tattered robes and scarred face. "You were friends with my freak of a sister! Weren't you?" she cried, pointing a stick-like finger at the werewolf. Remus frowned deeply. "I didn't know you had another sister, Petunia. I was a friend of your sister, Lily, who most certainly _wasn't _a freak." He allowed part of the wolfto flash in his eyes.

Perhaps Petunia noticed this or perhaps she just didn't want the neighbors to talk about the ragged man on her doorstep, she pursed her lips before opening the door – rather reluctantly – and motioning for him to come in.

"What are you doing here?" she asked crossly, once she had ensured he had rubbed his feet thoroughly on the doormat. Placing her hands on her hips, the thin blond woman glared at the wizard.

"I'm here for your nephew, Harry," Remus explained patiently. "He's coming to stay with me for the rest of the summer. Maybe next summer, too, but I can't guarantee it." For the first time since she had seen Remus on the doorstep, Petunia's expression looked cheerful. "Well, don't let me stop you," she said, waving ostentatiously toward the door. "Hurry up and take him to whatever – whatever _hovel –_ you call home. _We _certainly don't want him here."

But Remus's patience had just about worn out. This Dursley woman – he refused to believe she had ever been related to Lily Evans – could say whatever she wanted about _him_. But to say something like that about her own nephew and not show any remorse whatsoever . . .. These Muggles sickened him, they truly did.

"With pleasure," he finally managed, digging his nails into the palms of his hands hard enough to leave marks. And, taking a few deep breaths to calm himself, Remus walked up the stairs and into Harry's room.

He wasn't surprised to see Harry sitting at his desk staring listlessly outside the window, it seemed as if Harry was in his own little world, completely unaware of anything going on around him. "Harry? Cub?" Harry turned around and looked at the werewolf, "You really came back" he said. Remus frowned and walked towards the boy who lived, "I told you I was coming back Harry, I keep my word. Anyway I talked to Professor Dumbledore and he has agreed for you to come stay with me."

Harry just stared at Remus for a minute, "You mean it Remus? I can stay with you?" Remus smiled at the lift of happiness he heard in the boy's words, but then he saw a frown form on Harry's face. "What's wrong Harry?" he asked and he sat on the bed. "Si..Sirius offered me a home with him…the night I met him." Now Remus understood what was going on and he pulled the boy into an embrace. "Harry, you do know I'm not trying to replace Sirius? I told you earlier I could never be Sirius in a million years; I just want you to have someone there for you. " Harry looked up at him with shiny eyes and gave him a smile.

"Now come on Harry, let's go home." Remus flicked his wand and all of Harry's things returned to his trunk. "Now is there anything else you need?" Harry shook his head so Remus pulled out the portkey provided by Dumbledore and with that the two disappeared from Privet Drive.


	4. Three Little Words

**So pleeassee forgive me for the lateness in this chapter! First both my beta and me were on vacation, then when I got back it took me a couple days to get settled, then Lizzy Lovegood (my amaazzing beta) had computer troubles. THEN Fanfiction wasn't cooperating. So yes, I apologize for the troubles!**

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One nearly vomit-inducing experience later, Harry and Remus appeared in a small, wooden cottage. A mere glance showed that, much like its' owner, the house was worn and in much need of repairs. However, just as Remus did, it also had a comfortable, homey feeling to it. Blinking rapidly, Harry stared around the house, feeling surrounded by a sense of security that he had only ever felt with Remus . . . and Sirius.

_No, don't think about that now . . .. _Harry instead turned toward Remus's kind face, smiling hesitantly.

"Welcome home, Harry," Remus whispered, studying the soft smile that spread over Harry's lips as he surveyed his new home.

"Would you like to see your room?" Remus asked, placing a hand on the boy's shoulder. "I wasn't really sure what to do with it, so it's pretty bland at the moment, but you can do whatever you like with it. Does that sound like a plan?"

Harry could only stare, mouth wide. He was so grateful to just be _living _with Remus, away from his vile relatives, that he could hardly believe the man's generosity. Vaguely, he felt himself being steered down a hall and into a room. _His _room.

The room was decorated in shades of crimson and gold, just like his dormitory at Hogwarts. However, it was the pictures that Harry first noticed – pictures of the Marauders, Lily, and even himself as a baby. Harry noticed the picture that he himself had in his photo album – his parents on their wedding day, Sirius beaming at their side. As Remus had said, the room was very plain, equipped only with a dresser and. . . .

Harry turned to the man, a quizzical expression on his face. "A _crib_, Remus?"

Remus chuckled in reply, a wistful expression on his face. "When you were a baby, Harry, Sirius and I would babysit you. Sometimes, when your parents knew they would be out late, you would stay over here for the night. Whenever you came over, this was where you played, napped, and slept. I doubt you'll fit into it anymore though." With another chuckle, the small wooden crib was changed into a large four-poster bed, not unlike ones found at Hogwarts.

As Remus performed this task, Harry began to browse the pictures more carefully. Besides the one that had first caught his eye there were many others. One was of James, Sirius and Remus sitting by the lake – where he, Ron, and Hermione now sat, Harry thought wistfully – while another showed Sirius and James in a wrestling match, both laughing and carefree.

_When was this? _Harry thought. _How long did they have before their lives were torn apart?_

Brushing impatiently at his cheeks, Harry turned quickly away from the picture, almost immediately glimpsing another that caught his eye.

The picture hung right above the set of drawers in some prominence and it was a wonder Harry hadn't noticed it before, especially as it was one of the few that actually featured _him_. Remus held an infant Harry safely in his arms while Sirius made funny faces. Lily sat next to her husband, watching the three that made up part of the crazy family.

Harry watched as his younger self reached out to tweak Sirius's nose and laughed, albeit rather shakily. So caught in thrall by the picture was he that he jumped in surprise when Remus's voice issued from behind him.

"All three of them loved you unlike anything else, Harry," Remus said gently, fondly flattening Harry's hair. "I still do," he added with a smile. "It's one of my favorite picture, actually. That's why it's so large, you see."

Harry merely nodded vaguely, reaching out to stroke the portrait-Sirius's face. When he next spoke, it was in a voice that was struggling to hold in unshed tears. "I can see why . . ..", he said, forcing his mouth to form into a smile. It didn't feel right to smile. "Could . . . could I get a copy of it, Remus?" he asked, turning to the werewolf with pleading eyes.

Remus, spotting the tears, instantly wrapped Harry in a tight embrace. "Oh, of course you can, cub. Remember, though, it's okay to cry. They were all very special people and I count myself very lucky to have had them in my life. Yes, I'm sad now, but it's you . . . you who they were ripped from before you truly knew them." Remus's own voice hitched as he held Harry closer.

Harry nodded. "You . . . you'll always be here for me . . . right Remus?" As he lifted his head to face the older man, Remus could clearly see the need shining in his eyes.

Blinking away his own hot tears, Remus swallowed over a hard lump in his throat before speaking. "Oh my cub, I will always be here for you . . . but I can't promise that something won't happen to me." As the boy stiffened against him, Remus began to rub his back soothingly.

"Cub, this is war, you know that. No one knows what the future will hold, but I can tell you one thing. I'll try my damned hardest to fight and stay in it for you. And do you know why?" At Harry's inquisitive glance, he continued, the lump in his throat becoming substantially larger. "It's because I love you, Harry. I love you _so _much, like your mother did, like your father did, and like Sirius did."

When Harry turned to him this time, it was with wonderment. "What?" he asked, almost whispering.

"What is it, Harry?" Remus asked, worried that he had upset the boy in some way. "What's wrong?"

"What did you just say? The last thing . . .."

"That I love you?"

Harry's eyes widened before burying himself in Remus's chest once more. Confused, the man tipped Harry's head up to face him once again. "Cub, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry," Harry said softly. "It's just . . . no one's ever said that to me before."

"Said I love you, you mean?" Harry's blushing face was all the answer the werewolf needed. Shock and anger enveloped him – shock because he couldn't believe that – in fourteen years – no one had ever told this precious boy they loved him and anger because no one had ever thought to when so many people did. . . .

The Dursleys, well . . . they obviously had no fond feelings for their nephew. Ron and Hermione, meanwhile, must love their friend, but had simply taken it for granted that he knew. And Sirius . . . Merlin, had he never told his own godson he loved him?

"Harry," he said firmly, "Harry, please listen to me. What you think – it's not true. People _do _love you. Why, when you were a baby your parents, Sirius, and I told you we loved you every day. And now . . . the Weasleys love you, Ron and Hermione love you – they're your best friends for Merlin's sake – Professor Dumbledore even cares for you as a grandson. Never _ever_ think that no one has loved you."

Harry could only stare at the older man for a second, mouth moving like a fish's.

"I love you, Harry," Remus repeated.

That seemed to break the spell as Harry buried his head into Remus's firm, comforting chest. "I love you too, Remus."

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**So can we all give a huge round of applause for Lizzy Lovegood, the amazing girl who beta's all this?! Without her this story would not be anything, she has some awesome stories on her page so check those out! I also want to name all my reviewers so far, thank you all so much! It keeps me going!  
**

Moon Archer

Jessalynvix

Susie Q

DeliaDee

Priyu0624

fathermoony

story2tell

steph.2791

chakahlah

**And a huge hug to Moon Archer and Jessalynvix for reviewing one more then one chapter! :)**

** If I didn't reply to someone's review I am terrible sorry! I will for sure if you review again...**


	5. Cocoa and talks

**Long author's note so I'll just save it for the end :)**

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The day passed far too quickly for Harry – one moment he and Remus were playing wizard chess; the next, Harry was pushing back his clean plate, excusing himself from the table. Placing a hand to his mouth, Harry stifled a yawn. The day had certainly been an exhausting one.

Remus watched Harry go, a fond smile on his face. It was still slightly difficult for him to believe that he – he, Remus John Lupin – had been offered guardianship of the Boy-Who-Lived.

However, Harry was far more than some mere title to Remus. He was the reason for that late night in the hospital with James pacing the hall, he was a day at the zoo with his "Uncles" Moony and Padfoot.

He was Harry; just Harry.

Sighing, Remus realized there was far too much on his mind to allow him to get to sleep anytime soon. Grabbing a book from the nearby counter, Remus headed to the living room, intending to sit in front of the fire until he fell asleep.

Yet he couldn't concentrate. Granted, it wasn't a very interesting book; indeed, it would have made Dolores Umbridge proud. But still . . . he was dwelling on far too much right now.

He knew that Harry wasn't going to be able to move past his emotional burdens on his own. Knowing Harry – and he did, quite well – it would take a good amount of gentle poking and prodding to help Harry get over this guilt, unfounded though it might be.

"Hmm," Remus muttered to himself, fingers drumming incessantly on the arm of the chair. It's too bad there wasn't a "Parents Handbook" for this sort of thing. _What to do, what to do. Come on, you old wolf, think._

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Remus was jerked out of his reverie by the sound of moans. Not just any moans, however – these awful sounds were coming from Harry's room.

Remus raced into the room, eyes darting wildly around for any possible intruder. However, it seemed that Harry's fears were – at the moment – visible only in the boy's mind. For there he lay, thrashing in tangled sheets, moaning and muttering one word over and over that just about broke Remus' heart . . ..

"Sirius."

With a purposeful stride, Remus almost ran over to the bed. "Harry!" he called, shaking the boy's shoulders in an attempt to wake him from his fearful nightmare. "Come on, cub, wake up."

"No . . . no, Sirius . . .."

"Harry." Remus's shakes became more frantic now.

"Let me go . . . let me go . . . Sirius!"

"HARRY!"

With a sound that was somewhere between a scream and a sob, Harry bolted up in bed, looking confusingly around the room until he spotted Remus. Amber eyes met green as Remus gave Harry a moment to regain his bearings before speaking.

"Harry? Are you alright, cub?"

Harry's stiff nod was his only answer and Remus fought the urge to sigh in irritation. It was obvious Harry was the exact opposite of all right, but he would deal with that later. What was important now was figuring out what had scared his charge so badly.

"Harry?" he repeated. "Cub, I need to know what your nightmare was about."

Wrapping his arms around himself in a self-hug, Harry averted his eyes from the concerned werewolf's, seeming very interested in the pattern on his bedsheets.

"Harry?"

More silence.

It didn't take a genius to realize that this technique wasn't working. Standing up, Remus extended a hand and pulled Harry off the bed. Leading him into the living room, he seated him in one of the chairs closest to the fire. Foolishly, he hoped that the warmth would melt the boy's icy demeanor.

Nevertheless, Harry kept his gaze on the flames dancing before him.

Remus smiled tenderly at his cub. "Would you like some cocoa, Harry?" he asked.

A quick, jerky nod was, once again, his only response.

Five minutes later, Remus returned, levitating two steaming cups of cocoa. With a small sigh, he saw that Harry was still in the same position Remus had left him in.

Well, at least he hasn't run off . . .

"Here you go, cub. Drink up." Remus handed the teenage boy his drink.

"Thanks," Harry said, wrapping his hands around the warm mug, speaking for the first time since he had been woken from his nightmare.

"You're welcome, Marshmallows?" Remus raised his wand, ready to summon the bag.

"No, thanks. It's just . . .." Harry shivered. "It's just . . . Remus, I can't. I can't do this."

Eyebrows furrowed in confusion, Remus could only look at the boy for a moment. "What do you mean, cub?" he asked, finally.

Without warning, tears began falling down the boy's pale face. Placing his mug on the table, Harry angrily wiped them away.

"Cub?" Very concerned now, Remus knelt by Harry's side. "What is it?"

"I'm supposed to defeat him, Remus," he answered, his voice choked. "I'm supposed to defeat him and . . . and I can't to it! There's so much people expect of me just because I'm the damn Boy-Who-Lived and . . . and I just don't know what to do!" With a sob, Harry buried his face in his hands, succumbing to the tears that poured down his cheeks, soaking his pajama pants, an almost-literal deluge.

And, as Remus sat there, feeling remarkably helpless, rubbing circles along the distressed boy's back and murmuring feeble condolences, it dawned on him.

The prophecy. The instant James and Lily had found out, they had hastened to tell Sirius and Remus. As far as Remus knew, he was one of the few privy to the Potters' secret.

Clearing his throat, Remus spoke as clearly as he could, endeavoring not to sound too harsh to his dear cub. "Harry, you need to know that you are in no way alone. You have the whole Order for one, then Albus – who does care for you, Harry, regardless of what you may think – Ron and Hermione, the Weasleys, your friends, and your professors."

"Snape?" Harry sniffled.

He nodded decisively. "Yes, even Severus. And, do you know what else?"

A mute shake of the head.

"You have me. And I can promise you, Harry, I will always be here for you. No matter what happens, no matter how old you grow, you will always be my cub. Do you understand?"

Harry returned Remus's speech with a watery smile, wiping at his eyes. "Thanks, Remus. I hope I'll always be able to help you, too. You know, being the Boy-Who-Lived and all that." He grinned wryly.

* * *

Remus smiled tenderly as he reached out to smooth down Harry's black hair, disheveled from sleep. "Harry, you can always help me. Believe me, just having you here gives me joy, a feeling I haven't felt in a long, long time. Now, come on, let's get to bed. I'll stay in your room till you fall asleep."

Harry shook his head. "You don't have to . . .." The look on his face, however, said otherwise.

"I know," Remus replied, reaching out to pull Harry up. "But I want to."

Together, the two walked into Harry's room. Gratefully, Harry lay down, luxuriating in the warm bed and, with a smile; Remus began to tuck him in.

"Remus, what are you doing?"

"Tucking you in, Harry. What else?"

At Harry's bewildered look, Remus nearly gaped . . . that is, before he remembered Harry's "dear" aunt and uncle. "Well, there's a first time for everything," he said, attempting a casual grin. "I know that when my parents tucked me in, it always made me feel better."

"Yeah." Harry nodded in agreement. "It does make me feel better. Anyway, night, Remus."

"Sleep tight, don't let the werewolves bite." Even Harry's laugh sounded sleepy.

Remus smiled, settling himself in the rocking chair beside Harry's bed and bestowing on him one last, goodnight kiss on the forehead. "Goodnight, cub."

* * *

**READ READ READ INPORTANT  
**

**So sorry for the "false alarm" I guess you could call it by posting this and then deleting it, I hadn't written the author's note and put in breaks yet! I am also apologizing for the chapter delay! I was in Atlanta seeing Paul McCartney perform live (One of the BEST nights of my life!!!) He might be 67 but he can ROCK. It was an outdoor concert, rained really hard but not one of the 40,000 people cared because the concert was that amazing! Also I have school starting Monday so I've been trying to get ready for that and yada yada yada life got in the way. I was sad I only had two reviews for the last chapter, is it getting old? Did I do something y'all don't like?? WHAT CAN I DO TO APPEASE SUCH AWESOME PEOPLE?!?!! I have decided I will write a one-shot for my 20th reviewer, I do have certain guidelines to what I will write for it, check my profile for what type of stories I read to get an idea of what I'll write! So be the 20th reviewer!!  
Thanks to EwanLuvr4Ever and Chakahlah for their reviews :)**

**Please review so I don't know you hate it, and again huge hug to my amazing beta LizzyLovegood :)  
**


	6. Breakfast

***disclaimer* I regret to say that in no way shape or form own these characters or anything magical**

* * *

It was definitely, Remus mused to himself, not a good idea to fall asleep in a rocking chair. He had meant to return to his room once Harry was settled down, but he supposed that he had leaned back for a nap at some point during the night. And five minutes had turned into . . . what? Twisting – and simultaneously wincing – he checked the wall clock.

It was eight o'clock. Well, Remus had always been an early riser, something Sirius and James had teased him mercilessly about while at school. By the time they shuffled down, messy-haired and bleary-eyed, he had already had breakfast and solved starvation in a third-world country.

Standing, the werewolf stretched, groaning as his back cracked. Yes, the rocking chair had definitely not been a good idea.

Yet, aches and pains notwithstanding, there had been progress during the night. Remus's gaze grew fond as he turned to the teenager, splayed across the mattress, snoring softly. Harry had needed him, had – after some coaxing – admitted the need for help, and had even permitted himself to be tucked in! Remus knew that that couldn't have been easy for him; the boy hadn't had an easy life up till now and, as a consequence, hid most of his feelings. Remus didn't suppose he could blame him; Harry's relatives hadn't exactly been the perfect guardians and by the time anyone had shown any love to the boy – mainly the Weasleys – it had been too little too late. The damage had been done.

Remus knew he couldn't change the past, but he could give Harry a better future. How he was to accomplish that was the problem. Harry needed to know how much Remus loved him but, with such an emotionally shut-off boy, would he ever truly believe it? Remus could say it thousands – millions – of times and Harry could smile and nod, but would that ever prove anything without true belief? Would he ever be able to truly repair Harry's shattered heart or had he been blinded by his emotions? Would things only end in tears?

No. Emphatically, Remus shook his head. No, they couldn't – wouldn't.

He thought of the happier times – those blissful few months between Harry's birth and his parents' death. They had all been alive and well and, most importantly, happy with Harry in their lives. Harry might not remember those days, but he certainly did.

The day Harry was born. . . .

The day he and Sirius had – in Lily's words - "kidnapped" Harry for the day. . . .

Harry's first Christmas. . . .

Harry's first word. . . .

Remus knew that, somewhere inside the scarred, beaten-down teenager, there was that little boy. The boy who would crawl through the house after Padfoot, the boy who had scared Lily senseless flying on his first broomstick, their little boy.

Sighing, Remus headed toward the kitchen. It was his mission to find that little boy and find him he would. He had failed Harry once before and he wasn't going to allow it to happen again.

But first – Remus's stomach rumbled warningly – breakfast.

* * *

A short time later found bacon sizzling on the pan over the stove, the tantalizing smell wafting down the hall into Harry's room. The werewolf's ears pricked up as he heard Harry yawn and pad down the hall toward the kitchen.

"M-morning, Remus," he greeted through a yawn. He nodded toward the sizzling pan and the waiting plates. "Hey, do you need any help? I could've done that, you know; you made dinner last night."

Dishing the bacon onto two plates, Remus set them on the table along with some eggs and toast before answering.

"Nonsense, Harry. You'll not be expected to do any chores around here – well, besides keeping your room clean – all right? Just let me be the adult cub." He seated himself opposite from the red-faced boy.

Harry merely shrugged, an attempt at nonchalance, yet Remus could tell this was odd for him. Nearly his whole life, Harry had made food for his relatives; it was odd to have the adult do it instead.

"Sounds fine with me, Remus. Thanks, it smells delicious."

"Well, that's good, then, seeing as I expect you to eat as much of it as you can. You've lost far too much weight this summer." Harry smiled but dug in nonetheless; he was used to comments on his weight.

"So, cub," Remus continued, "I had an idea for what we could do today. I know, during the First War, there were days when you just felt the need to escape. Escape the wizarding world, that is; there was so much negative energy around, it could suffocate you."

"Like a dementor." Harry's emerald-green eyes grew grave as he remembered his third year.

Remus nodded. "Exactly, exactly...." He trailed off, recalling the war's peak. No one left their homes alone.... you couldn't even trust your best friend.... you would talk to someone one day only to hear about their death the next. Horrible, horrible times.

"Erm, Remus. . . ." Harry's tentative touch on his sleeve jolted the werewolf back to reality.

"Right, sorry, Harry. Anyway, your mum knew exactly what to do on days like that and she, along with your dad, Sirius, and I, would go to this big Muggle park. After you were born, we took you along, too. We'd just spend the day there, talking or feeding the ducks or whatever. One time, we even went on this – oh, what do you call them? - that Muggle thing with plastic horse?"

"A merry-go-round?" Harry offered.

"That's it! But, as I was saying, there was no war there. It was just a carefree day in the park. Anyway, I was wondering if you'd like to do something like that. We could even go the same one if you want. Of course, I'd have to tell Dumbledore to put the proper protection up, but we should be alright."

An oddly serene expression settled over Harry's face before he gave Remus the biggest smile he had seen on the boy's face all summer.

"You mean, we could just escape for the day?" He sounded as if he hardly dared believe it.

Remus returned with a smile of his own. "If you would like to, cub."

* * *

**A-N **

**Sorry for posting this twice already, I kept forgetting things. Anyway I apologize for the lack of updates. In October I lost my papap (grandpa) who I was really close to and I walked away from fanfiction and Harry Potter, this story including, for awhile. Then when I got back to semi-normalcy it was hard to spew something out so I didn't know what to write. But something came over me last night and I went back to read reviews. I saw what helped me write the previous chapters and I felt the duty to continue writing. Now I don't know what the future will hold for this story, I have some ideas but I always welcome more. So tell me what you want out of this story and I will see if we agree :)**

**So review and help spur me to write  
Thank you to all my lovely reviewers and thank you so sooo much Lizzy Lovegood , my beta, for being a wonderful beta and person. **


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